Cradle

I never forgot about you. How could I? You were there every hour of every goddamn day. Everywhere I turned I saw you, looking back at me with your pathetic brown eyes. Your ridiculously stubby arms reaching out towards me while you shrieked at the top of your miserable lungs. The air you breathed irritated every fibre of my being.

I grew to despise what you were, who you became. I cannot remember why I ever wanted you around me in the first place.  You sucked away my beauty, my air, my life. You still do. 

Most days, I ask myself why I stay here in this room, this temple I built for you. I find no answer. You can have it. Keep it and live or die in it, but stop calling for me, stop screaming my name.  I will not love you, nor do I want to touch you ever again.

I can see how you have changed now. You are but an unconscious lump, an atrophied mass of weak bones and soft muscle. I know.  Oh yes, I know that you think you have become this abomination because of me. Your constant need of me is killing you. Your simple mind contorts and breaks your body every moment you wish for my love.  

I don't care.  I never did care for you. I should leave you right now. 

I will not, because you can never possibly see, you asinine creature, that I will not want you, ever.  And slamming your head against the sides of your cot will only kill you faster.

Every one of them

These are my words of humble farewell.

I have spent my every waking hour in prayer, for everything I was and that which I am and shall be, has been beyond my reach. Hidden and locked away somewhere, the key carried by the Bedouins of the Badawi tribe. Lost in the arid deserts, never to be seen by the eyes of Man.

For thirty days, I prayed and believed, lost hope and faith. For thirty days, I stumbled in the blackness of solitude with the soft tendrils of melancholy brushing my ankles. There I found the most unlikely ray of turbulent light streaming down from the sky. Closer and full of clammy hesitance, I looked into the light and what I saw spurred me to lay these words down for you to see.

In the light, the prophet mannequin whispered his lies to me as I looked at his accusing finger pointing straight into my soul. I couldn't help but stand still while he clawed into me with viciousness only Hate himself could understand. 

  

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